I came across an online article called Making Ethical Decisions: The Six Pillars of Character. It defines those six pillars as:
- Trustworthiness
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Fairness
- Caring
- Citizenship
I have seen these ideas painted as images on the side of our local school board building in town, and so the article drew me in right away. 
I want to explore the first pillar, trustworthiness, a bit today in terms of blogging. According to the article,
Trustworthiness is the most complicated of the six core ethical values and concerns a variety of qualities like honesty, integrity, reliability and loyalty.
I guess my current thoughts related to trustworthiness and blogging are along the lines of maintaining what I hope is a trustworthy relationship with you as I start to explore new avenues in my quilting (like my creative exploration in the Reclamation Project mini quilt series) and in my blog. I am starting to develop and sell patterns, I am exploring the possibility of some site sponsorship, and I am trying to balance my desire to create and cultivate community through discussions like this post, tutorials, and posts about quilt progress (and not just ta-da quilt finishes). Another thought that comes to my mind quickly is honesty in blog posts. Renee @Quilts of a Feather recently had an honest and reflective post about her experiences in a year of swaps. I think that having honest discussions like Renee’s are essential to maintaining balance in blogland. Don’t get me wrong; I am also all about being nice, but I also am interested in some good, honest discussions.
When I participated in Beth @plum and june‘s New Quilter’s Blog Hop last year, there was quite a bit of discussion about what makes a blog one that you would want to follow. I think that a lot of first impressions (trustworthiness, compatibility, etc.) about a blogger can be tied up in the design aesthetic that a blog is presented in. Most people said that they preferred clean blogs with white backgrounds, easy to read text, and large photographs. I learned a lot from that discussion, and I see a glimmer of truth and insight into trustworthiness stemming even from blog layout and aesthetic choices. Am I crazy?
Reliability is an interesting characteristic in blogland. I think I err on the side of having an obnoxious number of posts during the week (this year I am averaging just at a post a day, eep!). I hope that it is not obnoxious, and as I mentioned above, I have been struggling with ideas on the balance of everything: I want to share community and discussion topics like this, I want to host the Quilty Thankful Thursday link up, I want to share tips and tutorials, and I want to have honest work in progress discussions along with quilt finishes. Stack it all up and I have a backlog of ideas that seems to just keep growing.
On the other end of the spectrum from where I currently sit are bloggers who post once or twice a week to once or twice a month. I am amazed at the amount of beautiful quilting creativity and creations I see being made by people who are working full time, who are parenting full time, or are caring for aging parents full time. One thing that I would say to you, if you are in this category and feeling sad about a less frequent posting schedule: please don’t apologize to me. I think you are amazing. I cannot imagine juggling so many balls, still finding crafting (sanity) time, and then blogging about it. I don’t need apologies, I need whatever energy or drive or stamina that keeps you fueled and going!
And so I want to wrap up by asking of you today, what makes a blogger or brand trustworthy? Why do you shop at a particular online retailer or local quilt store? What makes you keep coming back to visit certain blogs?
I think trustworthiness and sincerity go hand-in-hand. If you’re sincere in your blog posting – you are genuinely proud of what you’ve done and are sharing, including your frustrations and triumphs, then it’s not only interesting (especially with pictures, let’s be honest!), but it’s also relatable. I say that because some blog postings that are along the lines of “Oh my god, look how great my quilt turned out! Isn’t it so pretty!” usually eliciting comments like “Yes! It’s very pretty!” are the equivalent of “OMG! ROFL” and “LOL.” Pretty meaningless. Yes, I like looking at the pictures of pretty quilts, but it seems a waste of a blog. I’d rather hear the story behind the creation – the why, the how, the midnight confessions. It’s why Victoria’s Secret models parading down the runway is not as interesting as a good Masterpiece Theatre drama. Yes, the models will hold your attention for a while, but they won’t challenge you to think. So, the blogs I really enjoy reading, the ones I don’t skim through just to look at the pictures, the ones I look forward to seeing in my e-mail inbox – are the honest ones, the ones that tell the whole story – the good, the bad, and the ugly. The ones that teach me something. The ones that make me think. Thanks for being a blog I look for in my inbox. 🙂
Sincerity – a great word and I agree that it goes along with trustworthiness as well. I think you have other really great synonyms here, too: genuine, relate-able, challenging, honest. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and give me more food for thought!
I very rarely go to the trouble of commenting on blogs anymore as I have been adopting an attitude of mindfulness as well as the mantra “sew more, blog less” but I really like your blog so I thought I would check in and tell you why. First off, it’s professional. Your thoughts are well formed, structured, grammatical and spelled correctly! Plus, your photographs are very well done and often (as in the case of the Reclamation Project) very thought provoking. With a degree in English Literature and an interest in photography, these features resonate with me. Also? You post consistently, at a consistent time, on consistent subjects. While I like surprises (the new pattern reveal was a nice one) I also like knowing what is coming. Your super early posting is one of the main reasons your blog is the first I read in the morning. I have two small children and thus my blog reading and sanity sewing time tends to be early, before the family wakes up. Bloggers that don’t set their posts to show up till 9 o’clock in the morning do not get read that day. I’m ridiculously busy at 9 o’clock in the morning.
In the spirit of this post, I find you to be quite trustworthy. You share snippets of yourself and your life that show a clear desire to cultivate relationships with us, but also healthy boundaries. I’m not super trusting of bloggers who overshare as I think a certain level of familiarity must be earned and not simply given away. I have found your Reclamation Projects to be artistic and brave and the right amount of revealing (no pun intended – although that post was possibly the only quilting post my husband checked out after I talked about it.)
If I recall correctly, in one of your posts about Quiltcon you mentioned being introverted and how that could translate in a huge venue such as Quiltcon. I’m rather introverted myself and it was refreshing to hear something other than the gushing praise of Quiltcon. So, I trust your thoughts will not be one sided praise with no balance.
I have no problems with bloggers who post ads (please no pop ups) or retain sponsors to fund their craft. I don’t love blogs that do too many giveaways (it just seems like fluff to me with little substance.)
I read other blogs for other reasons (oftentimes the catalyst for me sticking around is the fabrics used), but those are a few of my thoughts on your blog! Now, I’m off as I have a half hour to finish trimming some half square triangles from a clearance charm pack I snagged before my crazy day starts.
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy day to give me so much feedback! It is really good to know that the times I publish my posts are good (I do like the schedule them out in advance), and thank you for the feedback on the Reclamation Project. That series is toeing the oversharing line for me and I have been working with my husband on the posts to make sure we are both comfortable with the content before it is published.
I can guarantee that I won’t be heading to pop-ups! 🙂 I am considering trying a few different things, but it will likely be a while out (if at all – someone would need to also agree to wanting to partner in a sponsorship!).
I hope you had enough time to trim your HSTs this morning, and have a great weekend.
I like blogs I follow to be regular enough that I remember who I’m following. With bloggers that post infrequently, I never remember who they are when a post pops up and what it was about them that I even liked to begin with so I certainly don’t feel that “personal connection” with them! As for posting everyday, I think it depends on the content and how varied it is. I certainly don’t have time to do it myself, and to be honest, I tend to skip posts when the same thing is posted every day – eg. a WIP post is on a Wednesday but then it’s finished and shared on Friday. When I’m catching up on reading posts over the weekend and reading them all at once, it’s like reading the exact same post twice so I’d skip the WiP post and just read the finish. In a stats perspective, you’d kind of want more people to look at more posts, so spreading out a WIP this week, with the finish later on, might generate more people looking at those pages. I find, what we get caught up in is being excited about our finishes which makes us want to post them right away, but who is really going to know that you finished that quilt today vs last month? So how soon you post it on your blog doesn’t really matter in the end.
There was the blog Young House Love where a couple were doing DIY renos, and posted what they were doing, every day, in real time (eg. knock wall down yesterday, write it up up a blog post for the next morning, repeat everyday). Because of their schedule they ended up burnt out and have stopped blogging. There was a comment to them about this, with an example, of if they have the spare time one evening to sit around making the Christmas decorations they want to eventually do in December, then why not just do it now? Schedule the post for later instead of waiting until December where they then find they have no time (this was mostly in regards to the blog making a post one day of “sorry we have no content to share today” as they ran out of time to actually prepare a blog post). Makes me consider, that I have a couple of Christmas quilts to finish, and if I do those in the next couple of months, I should wait and post them closer to Christmas because generally people are more interested in that closer to December than right after Easter. People complain enough that decorations are out too early in the shop in September so how much interest would a finished Xmas quilt generate in the first half of the year. And if you want to generate stat hits, then obviously you’d want to follow with holiday themed stuff during those holidays as that’s when people would be interested and be searching for those things and ideas… No one is going to know they were made months in advance. But does this fall into untrustworthiness, deceiving readers that these things are done around the same time as a post is made? Personally, I don’t think it matters but I’m sure others might be miffed.
Thanks for your insight, Jo. I can definitely appreciate that there isn’t time to read blogs every day and that WiP posts might easily be skimmed or skipped over to look at the finished quilt; great food for thought there.
I don’t think there is dishonesty in timing posts, personally. For instance, I created the green Triangle Transparency quilt in December / January, but I had to wait to share it once the pattern testers were done. And other quilters that wait for reveals because of publication rules, etc., don’t bother me, either. In that same vein, talking about seasonal projects closer to the season makes sense to me.
I do think a lot about burn out and not over-committing myself. I tend to sit down to write blog posts two or three evenings a week and just keep them scheduled out in advance. Like I said last week though, I am pretty sure I won’t be posting every day all year, though, and more gaps between posts in the future are coming!
Another great post, Yvonne. A pretty quilt or a new to me FMQ tip is typically what pulls me into a blog initially. What keeps me coming back is regularity in posting (whether that is daily, weekly, monthly, whatever – just consistent) and keeping it real in posts. I tend to not stay interested in blogs that post finish after finish with no honest discussion about the bumps in the road to get to that great finish. I learn from those that are willing to share the bumps, not just the finished product. Love the quotes on trust! So true! My father told me long ago (right around the first time he caught me in a lie… it might have happened more than once, teenage years are hard! lol) that trust is earned, it is not just given freely. I may not have understood that completely then, but it has been a very significant pearl of wisdom throughout my life.
You get drawn in by FMQing tips?!?! 😉 Yes, I can see that a certain quilt style or having something that catches my attention is an indication of whether or not I am going to resonate with a blogger.
Honestly, the biggest trouble I have with my quilting is my silly sewing machine (Olive, the Bernina 820). I am trying to play nice with her “quirks” but she is super frustrating. Word to the wise: test drive your local dealers before buying any brand or sewing machine…
Hmm, I will have to think more about how I am sharing about my projects. I do think I might just be doing a bit too much “ta-daaaa”…
Good questions!
I have 2 LQS I use. The first is the largest for miles and caters to traditional quilters. The only modern fabric they have is Kaffe Fasset. The first time I went there the shop owner asked me if I was in the right place… Like I was too young to be a quilter. ( quilting here is a hobby for seniors) she was not very willing to accept my different take on quilting, like using a sewing machine… Ha ha! I also did not like how she helped her other customers. Not difficult to understand I don’t visit this shop often! I didn’t feel like I was taken seriously as a valued customer. I had spoken about her display quilts and admired them. She didn’t even ask me what kind of quilts I made.
The other shop is a small shop run by an adventurious woman, more my age. Her collections vary from Moda’s more traditional floral fabrics to really modern, funky and hip fabrics. When I go to her I feel recognized as a fellow quilter, I get good deals and I spend my money there. I think I go there each month for a cup of tea and some chatting. She is generous and when she promises something she really does it! I consider her a friend. We help each other out when we need to.
This why the small shop gets my money!
Esther
I can definitely relate to your situation, Esther! There are 2 small LQS’s in my town, and I will not even step foot inside one of them any more. The woman who runs the shop that I do not frequent is rude, pushy, and she rips the fabric instead of cutting it. I know ripping used to be all the rage, but when I needed a small cut of fabric and got home with it pulled and warped and basically unusable, I realized that she was taking her aggression out onto the poor fabric and that I didn’t need that kind of unhealthy vibe in my life!
The other LQS in my town doesn’t carry a huge selection of modern fabrics, but they do have basic Aurifil thread colors (white, black, dove gray) and when I am in a pinch for batting they carry my favorite Quilter’s Dream Green.
I think that developing a relationship with the shop owner as you mention is delightful and a very smart business move on her part, although I suspect she is lucky to have your friendship in return. Chatting over a cup of tea sounds so lovely! 🙂
What keeps me coming back to certain blogs is content. Not always quilty content, but the honesty and integrity of the blogger. Don’t get me wrong I like quilty content. I also enjoy reading insightful content like your post.
Thank you, Cindy. I hope I can continue to have a good mix of insight and quilty goodness to keep you coming back. 🙂
I definitely agree with the black text on a white background and large photos. It drives me crazy when a blog has only thumbnails–this is a visual craft, and you’re sharing tiny photos to your international viewers! Oh and the font people pick is important too, I don’t think I follow any blogs that use some silly font. Another important factor for me to follow a blog is how the person writes–is what and how they write consistent? Is their writing style or voice annoying? Do I think the way they write is actually a reflection on the way they would talk in conversation? And does the way they discuss their activities make sense (or do they use a lot of strange terms, idioms, or cultural references I don’t understand)? Basically, do I think or feel that their blog is genuine?
As a writer I feel that if we just discuss the pretty, successful and fun things we’re really just sugar coating the reality of the mistakes, uglies (that were supposed to be pretty! ugh), and failures. And as a writer/blogger/sharer we would be lying by omission by not, at least sometimes, discussing them. As a reader I do like to read about the problems people have, it makes them more relatable, and in some cases I’ve learned from their mistakes.
The online stores I shop at have clear menus and navigation, easy to find search bar, good pictures and descriptions. Also the prices are reasonable and the shipping is fast and also reasonable (though I do prefer free shipping, ha).
I’ve read on other blogs that breaks from blogging shouldn’t include apologies–our lives demand and deserve our full attention, and what we are able to share on our blogs is a bonus. Sometimes the idea of putting together a blog post is so daunting–take or find pictures, edit, upload, write, add links, edit, proofread, edit…it’s hours of works. I realize my blog now focuses on the finished items and my instagram is where I share the progress reports. I think a big part of this is that I do not want to take an afternoon to write about what I am doing–I’d rather be doing it! But when I’m ready to share the finished item, I want to include all the details and best photos, and don’t mind taking the time to do it. For now that is my balance.
I totally agree with you about font. I do follow a couple of blogs with larger font than I need, so I just resize the page when I am visiting them and it helps me out immensely.
I think that it is interesting that a lot of times when people share uglies I find myself thinking that it isn’t ugly at all! I mean, sometimes it can be a hot mess… but I do think that we are our own worst critics. What gets me are the people who do that only to get the reassurance. After a lot of that, I realize that I probably don’t want to get sucked into that cycle and tend to stop reading a blog.
Online shops with good pictures – yes! I don’t know why, but the images the FQS uses just don’t work for me – am I the only one that feels that way? It is weird, but I feel like the images are just… off. I don’t really know how to explain that any better. Being able to purchase enough to get to a free shipping level is a pretty big bonus. I have definitely been known to buy more just to get that threshold, so it is a great strategy on the shops part…
Using Instagram as the progress and blog as the finish; that makes sense. Trying to find a balance of what works and where to share and how to use certain platforms all seems like a continual learning curve, but I have definitely been finding myself spending a pretty significant time on IG lately. Great food for thought there.
Your response didn’t go to my email as usual, so I will reply here! I usually find blogs with fonts too small and resize them. I had my eyes checked this year and was told they hadn’t changed much since my last eye exam 4 years ago. I disagree and am thinking of getting a second opinion. When I need reassurance with a project I try to be forward about it, and not come across as just looking for compliments. My current project is really challenging me (and taking way longer than expected) and I’ve found myself really unsure of how it is progressing…but trying to keep it a secret and just have faith it will come together in the end. My problem with FQS is that they rarely have the combination of fabrics I want, and so I rarely purchases from them. My recent purchase from PoF was boosted by the “spend only $x.xx and get free shipping!” I don’t know why I hate paying shipping, I guess because it makes more sense to spend the extra money on fabric than on shipping. Balance around here is precarious and rarely lasts longer than a couple of months before needing a serious retuning.
I think no matter how often a blogger posts, as long as she genuinely shares from her heart as well as from her sewing room, her blog will convey trustworthiness. Yvonne, I definitely think you’re achieving this. Your voice is unique among quilt blogs because of thoughtful and philosophic posts like this one that encourage conversation. However, be careful you don’t put so much pressure on yourself to blog frequently, comment on everyone else’s blogs, publish patterns, etc. that you burn out.
Thank you, Jan! I have definitely been finding myself learning to not leave a comment on every blog post I read – turns out that was a big time sink I had invested myself in. I have a pretty reasonable schedule and like to do my writing in the evenings and schedule my posts in advance, but there are going to be bigger gaps between my posts in the upcoming future. 🙂
I agree that one has to be timely to be a “trusted” blogger. That issue has been my downfall for certain. Blogging and sometimes even getting out of the bed for a time was not on my list of doables – is that a word? Hopefully at least a weekly word or two and perhaps even photographs of work NOT getting done will appear more regularly. I actually rely on you posting at 3 am everyday. Lol, I know you’ve warned us that that might not occur everyday. It’s just you give me food for thought. Great blogging!
Doable is definitely a word. And I know what you mean about the struggle to get out of bed – that is real. And honestly has become much more reasonable since I left my full time job to work on all aspects of my health – addressing and dealing with my depression and anxiety has been a blessing, and I am lucky to have the loving support of a husband that allows me the time and ability to do that. Thanks for letting me know that my consistent posting is valuable to you; I do enjoy writing and blogging but it is going to stop being such a daily occurrence, although I will still have several posts in a week!
The blogs I like to read are ones that share the good and the bad – tips on what works or doesn’t work, the thought process behind a project, their answer to problems most quilters have (ie how to deal with all those scraps!), and finishes or projects that inspire me. Those are the bloggers who seem most genuine and trustworthy to me. Blogs that only show finish after finish sometimes leave me feeling inadequate as a quilter — I didn’t finish anything this week! — and that’s something I don’t need in my life.
Your blog was one of the first I started following and I look forward to your posts. There have been many times when reading what you’ve written has given me that little push I might need that day to stretch myself creatively or given me something to think about while sewing. I still haven’t commented on your post about the “Crave” piece you did because it gave me so much to think about.
I do find myself not blogging about the mistakes and screw ups many times because I don’t think anyone would want to read that. But then I’ll read a post somewhere on the very subject I didn’t blog about, and I enjoy it – mostly because I can see how that person handled the situation and I also can see that I’m not alone in making that mistake.
I think discussions like this are interesting, helpful, and can be used as a learning tool by bloggers of all experience levels.
It can be really daunting to post about flubs, mistakes or all around dislikes, Beth. Part of my balance and difficulty is that some of the projects I work on are commissioned work, and sometimes there are things going on behind the scenes that make the project really hard for me to work on for one reason or another, but it wouldn’t be good business to gripe about those kinds of things! I will say that I do try to turn even those in to lessons learned an discuss as much as I can in a positive light – I do learn something from almost every project; even the ones that are supposed to be quick an easy! 🙂
This is a great discussion, both in your post and in the comments Yvonne.
A few thoughts I would like to share… if I can just find the right words.
My experience with a few years of participating on the Quilting Board is that many, many people (at least initially) turn to quilting as a source of solace and healing. Quilting, both in the creating and the giving, is a healing art. Therefor, in a blog for quilters, trustworthiness is of even more importance. I believe that Kindness is the most important ingredient in Trustworthiness.
As far as the blogs I love to read…beautiful, large photos are what draw me in, but aside from that: I am more than willing to put up with imperfection in the blog if the person is a kind, thoughtful and respectful person. I am also very attracted to humor.
I find it difficult to comment on blog posts if too many topics were introduced. I don’t know where to start, so sometimes I simply don’t start. This is a fault I tend toward in my own blogging, because I post about once a week and too many subjects pile up.
I don’t know if I should even bring up this other aspect of what I think makes a great blogger. Especially because I realize it is nearly impossible for highly popular or super busy bloggers to follow through on. Reciprocity of some kind is important to me. At the very least I would hope the blogger responds to comments. If i had all the time in the world, perhaps that wouldn’t matter as much. But I have to carefully pick and chose where I spend my blogging time, so some sort of personal connection must be established to keep me coming back.
What a great insight and reminder about quilting being a healing art; that is so very true for me, certainly.
In terms of reciprocity, that is definitely where things can start to fall apart a bit, isn’t it? I make it a very large goal to write back to comments, because I find I really start to lose interest in visiting a blog (certainly in leaving comments on a blog) if I never hear back from the blogger. I have heard others say that they appreciate it in turn if the blogger then goes and visits their site and leaves a comment… and I tried very hard to do that for a while before realizing that was a larger commitment and not always possible. I will let my expectations on a response slide when it is for a giveaway post, what else could the person say but ‘good luck’ anyway? 🙂
This is definitely food for thought. I enjoyed reading all the comments as well. It seems that people relate trustworthiness to being real and consistent, and I agree wholeheartedly. It is one of the reasons why I share what I learned with every project. Sometimes it is something significant, and others it is a simple fact that was relearned or reinforced. I also think trustworthiness deals with giving credit where credit is due. What quilt inspired you? What tutorial did you use? And if you can’t remember, it is okay to admit it.
I thought of something else I consider for trustworthiness in a blog–how and when they respond to my comments. If I feel that after many comments to their blogs, with little to no response (via email or commenting on my blog), I get tired and bored of commenting. I feel like I am spending my time and energy to read their blog, and comment appropriately (despite the constant background noise here, which makes keeping a train of thought going correctly very difficult, I seriously can’t even think of the right words to use half of the time), and if they can’t spend any time to respond or maybe look at my blog…I get don’t feel like my time is well spent, and will only look at their photos on my feed, and probably just stop following them entirely after a while. I am not a fan girl, I am a fellow crafter desperately trying to make a connection with others via the internet in lieu of being able to do it face to face. And I hope for some type of interaction, and don’t enjoy just being another follower and supporter when I get little out of it. This is pretty much why I don’t follow very many of the really big, popular bloggers and designers–other than the eye candy I don’t feel like it’s worth my time and just stick to the smaller, more rewarding blogs. Maybe that isn’t so much about if the blogger is trustworthy as it is about them being approachable and relatable.
Ah I just read the above comment and your response (and was so relieved to see someone use the word reciprocate because I couldn’t for the life of me think of it while typing my previous comment while being grilled on basic math problems and trying not be to be kicked in the head while the kids played on the couch next to me). Anyway, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that feels that way! The only time I go to other’s blogs and try to comment is when I’ve linked my blog post up and think the other person probably did too.
Almost always what makes me follow a blog is building up a relationship with the blogger, getting to a point where I’m interested in and care about their lives/makes/happenings. Which doesn’t have to involve lots and lots of shared personal blog content, but definitely some opening up of what makes them tick. And I do quite like a bit of variety – a purely quilting blog, with nothing other than gorgeous quilt eye candy, doesn’t interest me so much, not long term anyway, and there are so many of those around to choose from, so I enjoy your thought provoking posts and think they definitely make you stand out from the crowd. Generally I think it’s the relationship part that works for me with shops etc too. I have a very small LQS fairly close to us, I’m not a big buyer of new fabric anywhere and they don’t have a massive selection in there, but if I’m looking for something new I’ll always try there first, and I always buy supplies like rotary blades, basting spray, pens etc there. And it’s because they’re really friendly and helpful, they helped me with my binding on my first ever quilt, they’ve helped me with my machine in the past too and lots of other little things, they obviously care about visitors to their shop and want to do as much as they can for them, and it works because they do clearly have a very loyal customer base and they’re surviving in an area where most small shops of any kind sadly struggle.
I think that for me, to keep following a blog I definitely want to see a relationship develop somewhat – that is a great description, Sally. And the same goes for any business; great customer service, attention to detail, and a caring attitude go so, so far.
This has been a super enticing post! Joining swaps myself this year, a nice handful of them and life events happening… I found that even with communication in one group I was spoken to in a way that would never be tolerated by me at all. I understood the frustration, but I was being very open and clear about my delay at the moment and continuing that communication, which to me is all about the trust involved because you trust that the person will continue communicating with you AT LEAST until you receive from them the item/product/gift. To say I was appalled when I got the outlandish response, I easily finished up my part for that specific round and exited myself from the group. All others have been amazing and great. Trust is HUGE and I think communication goes into trust a lot. You can’t trust something you don’t see or hear from, right? I really appreciate this post and leading to the other “truth” post!
I wouldn’t say I find you posting EVERY DAY lately is annoying as you have wonderful posts… I just can’t seem to keep up with reading them now that you are posting so often! I still make sure to read them all!